Tenerife isn’t a theme park. It is a volcanic rock in the middle of the Atlantic with a brutal past. We had kings hurling themselves into the abyss rather than surrendering, and medieval con artists selling tree sap at gold prices. If you think you will understand this island from the seat of a tour bus, you are mistaken. Here is the truth about the Guanches, dragon’s blood, and hell—and why they only make sense when you are behind the wheel.
Most tourists come here, lie on a sun lounger, and leave without knowing where they have actually been. They Google: «Tenerife has nice weather and bananas». And they say: «Oh, lovely».
But you aren’t the average tourist. You want to understand the terrain you are stepping on (and driving on). To drive with authority on this island, you need to know what happened on the very ground beneath your tyres.
Here are 3 fascinating (and slightly dark) facts that explain why my fleet of cars is the way it is.
1. The King Who Chose to Fly (Bentor’s Suicide)
The guidebooks will tell you that the Guanches lived in caves and mummified their dead. Very interesting, yes. But they rarely tell you how the story ended.
There was a King (a Mencey) named Bentor. When the Castilian conquerors cornered his troops in the north of the island (near where you drive towards Icod today), Bentor didn’t kneel. He didn’t sign a peace treaty.
He climbed to the top of the Tigaiga ravine and hurled himself into the void. He preferred to be smashed against the rocks than to hand over his freedom.
- The lesson for the driver: When you take one of my cars and head for the northern roads, look up. Those vertical cliffs demand respect. The geography of this island is so extreme that a king chose to use it to kill himself rather than be a slave. You cannot navigate those same ravines in a wobbly car that shakes if you go over 50 mph. You need a machine that grips the tarmac with the same ferocity that Bentor loved his freedom.
2. The Great Medieval Con (The Dragon Tree and its «Blood»)
In Icod de los Vinos stands the Drago Milenario. Everyone goes, takes the photo, and buys a fridge magnet. But the real gossip is this: That tree made a lot of people rich based on total nonsense.
In the Middle Ages and the Renaissance, the red sap of this tree («Dragon’s Blood») was exported all over Europe. The marketing pitch? They claimed it cured leprosy, healed sword wounds instantly, and was magical. European nobility paid fortunes for a tiny vial of Tenerife resin. Basically, we were flogging them tree sap at the price of unicorn blood.
- The lesson for the driver: This island has always known how to sell exclusivity. The Dragon Tree has survived a thousand years of storms, logging, and tourists. It is a survivor. Going to visit it in a plastic hire car that cost you 20 euros is ridiculous. It’s like turning up to a black-tie dinner in a tracksuit. If you are going to see the island’s «grandfather», go in a V8. Park right in front. Make the photo make sense: two legends (the tree and the Mustang) looking each other in the eye.
3. You Are Driving on the Devil’s Roof (Guayota)
Tenerife is like a Gruyère cheese. Beneath the asphalt, there are miles of lava tubes, like the Cueva del Viento (17 km of tunnels).
But the fun part is what the ancients believed. For the Guanches, Mount Teide wasn’t a pretty mountain. It was Echeide. Hell. And inside lived Guayota, a demon in the shape of a black dog with eyes of fire.
Every time the volcano roared, they believed Guayota was trying to break out. The volcanic tubes were his intestines, the gateways to the underworld.
- The lesson for the driver: Think about it. You are driving on the skin of a volcano where a fire demon is supposed to live. Are you really going to traverse that terrain in a silent hybrid? To cross Guayota’s territory, you need your own «fire». You need the roar of a sports exhaust. You need to feel the vibration. Driving a convertible through Las Cañadas del Teide is a pact of respect with the volcano: «You have fire down below, I have fire under the bonnet».
Conclusion
You can read Wikipedia. It’s free, safe, and sterile.
Or you can hire one of my cars and feel the gravity of Bentor’s cliffs, the resilience of the Dragon Tree, and the heat of Teide.
Tenerife isn’t meant to be read. It is meant to be driven.
Iván Mora.
P.S: One last tip. They say that in the northern ravines, sometimes you can hear the wind whistling in a strange way. Some say it’s Bentor. Others say it’s aerodynamics. I say turn up the music or put your foot down. Just in case.
- 3 Restaurants Where the Food Doesn’t Lie (My Personal Hideouts in Tenerife)
- Why hiring a Mustang in Tenerife isn’t a «treat». It’s a survival tool.
- Self-Drive Mustang Hire in Tenerife: Why the «Freedom» I Mention in the Video Only Exists If You’re Behind the Wheel
- Where to hire a Mustang in Tenerife? (Or how to avoid looking like a billboard on wheels)
- I didn’t take this photo. (And that’s exactly why I love it)
